So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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