I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
