using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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