My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
