the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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