i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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