So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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