i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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