Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
