Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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