if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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