Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
