sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
