yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize