I wish I could teleport
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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