why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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