No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
