He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
