A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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