I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
