He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
