if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
