Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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