Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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