I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
