so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
