Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
