her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
