are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
