my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
