How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
