The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
