In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize