Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My feet surprised me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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