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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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• (818): View more from California

  The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating

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