did you get engaged???
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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