Don't make out with my wife yet
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Randomize
