bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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