She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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