Ambien. No doubt about it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
