You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize