last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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