you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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