she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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