he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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