youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
