I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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