How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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