And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
