Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she looked like the before picture.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
