We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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