.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
