i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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