I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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