If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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