isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize