she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
