My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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