After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize