Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize