She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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