STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize