a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize