I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
