Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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